January has sobered us up and stolen all our glitter. The once-adored and illuminated Christmas trees now lie naked and abandoned by the bins. The world is back to work and pavements pound with brand new runners. My news feed is full of New Year Resolutions that “all mothers should be making”, guilt that I shouldn’t be allowing myself to feel and tips for a healthier, fitter, happier 2017. I choose to glance at an email from a company who know the ages of my children, jolting a hazy memory of an airbrushed “Bounty woman” (an odd sight amongst labouring women, anxious partners and around-the-clock NHS staff) disturbing our post-birth recuperation, giving me forms to complete. I assumed she was part of the team and dutifully signed on the dotted line. Ink staining paper as post-birth blood stained the towels. This company now sends me an email saying that while”nursing a newborn”, I can use “8 tricks to look beautiful before 8am”, including using two different shades of mascara to widen my eyes… WTF!
Ironically, these tips are sold as “saving your morning sanity”. Instead, I think I’ll aim for an uninterrupted shower and trip to the loo with the door closed. I’m making this the year of gratitude and acceptance, beginning with my list of 10 unexpected highs of motherhood.
- Self-love. I knew I’d love my children long before we met, but I didn’t expect to regard my own body with such newfound tenderness, for its absolute incredible baby-growing, baby-birthing, baby-feeding skills. Every wobbly bit is proof that the most amazing miracle actually did happen. Twice.
- Learning to be au natural. Despite Bounty’s suggestions, I’ve not worn make-up for about two years (except for my wedding day) and my skin prefers it too. Plus, the liberation of not scrutinising my reflection is life-changing. And then there’s the pounds saved on products and my adopted laissez faire attitude to hair.
- Professional Multi-Tasker. I can…