'So, What's Wrong With Your Husband?'

People don’t tend to ask straight off the bat. They’ll stare for a while and pretend they’ve not noticed, but they put out a few feelers by enquiring as to our good health. Then, they’ll isolate one of us, usually me, perhaps after a drink or two, and say “Yeah, so what’s wrong with your husband?” Sometimes, I go in for shits and giggles and adopt a blank stare. “Nothing, why do you ask?”

But of course I know exactly why they ask.

He used to take longer to style his hair than I did mine. When we first met, his “look” was brown hair with bleached tips, twisted and cemented into spikes with much, much VO5 Style Rework. He was always bloody shaving as well, which again took forever, and he didn’t clean the sink afterwards. He had started to go grey though, just a few little stubborn fuckers…

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