My Postnatal Depression Made Me Feel Like an Utter Failure

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My daughter, Ella, was born in 2009 and it was a defining moment in my life. Not in a “when you finally figure out what ‘cake by the ocean’ actually means” kind of way – more of a “you will never, ever be the same” kind of way. And for me that has meant both amazing and not-so-amazing things.

Ella is a happy little soul who at age two told me “When I give you a cuddle, it feels like you’re me and I’m you.” Mind you, the other day she also asked me apropos of nothing: “Mum, have you ever eaten currants and wangs?” I still have no idea what that means.

I love my daughter more than anyone (she doesn’t know but I say the same to her little brother Henry and also my husband) but our first year together was tough because I suffered postnatal depression (PND) and postnatal…

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