Dodging The Baby Shower

Dodging The Baby Shower | The Huffington Post

Okay so maybe the title is a little exaggerated to get your attention, I mean I like attending them, I would just never want one myself… totally backtracking so I still get invited for free cupcakes and Prosecco.

Firstly, I’m British and I fit perfectly into the awkward, embarrassed and overly apologetic stereotype that we are portrayed as in every film that ever stared Hugh Grant.

I know we like to copy our American friends but do we really need to adopt all of their traditions? I feel like it’s a bit of an unnecessary faff.

When I was pregnant several of my wonderful chums sent me excited texts offering to throw me a baby shower. I guess people offer to do it for you because this is the correct baby shower etiquette. It would be slightly weird to throw your own wouldn’t it? Although I do know of a baby shower-zilla who sent out invitations and even gift lists where all the baby grows had to be made of organic cotton!

Baby showers are sweet and people are very kind, but the thought of sitting in a room surrounded by all my friends who have had to go out and spend their money on my unborn baby sits a little uncomfortably with me. The worst part would be then having to open the gifts one by one and pass comment on every item. Acting like I needed two of the same item anyway when a gift is duplicated so that nobody else would feel embarrassed. I just don’t really know how I’m expected to act. I hate bowling for the same reason. I’m crap at it, I have no co-ordination and I always throw the ball down the gutter, how can I possibly concentrate knowing everyone is staring at my bum in its ill-fitting knickers and muffin topped jeans. I then have to turn around and walk back while everyone observes me from their seat and offers a sympathetic look, all whilst wearing stupid bloody clown shoes. It’s all just massively awkward; I can’t deal with the pressure.

While I am heavily pregnant and unable to fit in anything remotely attractive that…

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